I struggle from time to time with the boys having autism. I think it will forever be an up and down roller coaster. I have even said to Eric, "I just wish I had a different life!"
The other week I said this and he said, "Well what would you change?"
I thought about so many wonderful blessings that I have in my life and how much is great and wonderful. Then I started thinking about the day to day stuff. And it hit me....
I want a "normal" family...
For example: I would love to have a meal where all 6 of us are sitting at the table at the same time, eating the same food, where we share what we did that day. I'm not asking for this to happen every night, or even for the entire meal, but even for thirty seconds in the past six years would be nice.
At times when I've shared some of these feelings, some parents of typical children have smiled and said, "Oh don't we all wish that. My family is crazy at meal time too!"
I have read so many different blogs of parents with children with disabilities and hearing "my kids do that too" is a common thing.
Even though I know that you might be trying to make me feel better and make it seem like my life is "normal", it is actually very difficult for me to hear.
When I hear this I feel like my personal struggles are being dismissed. Instead please try to listen and understand. Having children with disabilities is not like what families with typical children go through. These hard times are constant for us, instead of sporadic.
Also with "normal" kids there is an ending to misbehavior in the future, for me that end may never come. It's a difficult thing to express to people (and please don't take offense) because I know my friends are trying to be kind and supportive.
So one thing I wish for are these "normal family" moments. They don't happen very often, but every once in a while we do have them. Today was one of those sporadic "normal" moments.
It snowed last night and today we decided to go sledding on the back hill behind our house. We got everyone geared up and headed out. We were out from about 9 until 4 o'clock (except for an hour for lunch). It was so great. We laughed, smiled, and just enjoyed our time together. These are the moments I cherish and treasure and hope for more in the future.
